A child sucks his tongue all the time: how to deal with this habit

A mouth full of stones, sand, chestnuts. There is no need to wash the floors anymore, nor do you need to wash the windows. The baby puts everything in his mouth, and this habit drives everyone crazy.

Text: Ekaterina Morozova

Expert: Natalya Naumova, child psychologist, child neuropsychologist, family psychotherapist.

Normally, babies put everything in their mouth until they are 1.5-3 years old. Although everything is individual, and boundaries can blur. This craving is understandable. During the prenatal period, the child received all the necessary substances through the umbilical cord. After birth, food begins to come through the mouth and it becomes vitally important to master the oral method of receiving it. So this part of the body at this stage of the baby’s life really acquires a very special status. And this is a biologically based change. However, not only food comes through the mouth. Almost all the pleasures that a baby can get for himself are associated with sucking. And this is the satisfaction of hunger and consolation in sadness. After all, when he needs to calm down, he also needs the breast. For this reason, the child associates the mouth with positive emotions and, among other things, he really likes putting everything into his mouth. The same cannot be said about parents.

Sense organ

In addition to its main purpose, the mouth, in a certain sense, turns into another and very important organ of touch. With its help, the baby gets a taste of this world. Literally. Using the tongue and lips, the child learns about the properties of objects, and experiences both positive and negative emotions depending on their taste and texture. Relationships with the mother and the ability to meet the child’s needs at this stage form basic trust or distrust in the world and in people.

CHILDREN START PULLING EVERYTHING THAT JUST FALLS INTO THEIR MOUTH AT 5-6 MONTHS. SO THEY GET TO KNOW THE OBJECT WORLD, WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY CONTRIBUTE TO THE BEGINNING OF INDEPENDENCE.

Call a breastfeeding specialist to your home

At the group's children's medical centers, we know that the most convenient place for breastfeeding consultations is your own cozy home:

• A specialist will come to you at a convenient time. You don't have to go to the clinic and wait in line. Consultations can also be held directly in the maternity hospital (if visits are permissible) or in a medical center.
• A familiar home environment makes consultation easier for both mother and child.
• At home, the consultant will be able to devote more time to both the child and the parents.
• The consultant is always a phone call away: day and night (at night you can call the contact center or write to the consultant, the consultant will answer as soon as possible), on weekdays and on weekends.
• Support from a specialist is not one-time consultations, but accompaniment: the consultant will visit the mother and baby again, if necessary, after 2-4 weeks to check how feeding is going and the baby’s weight gain.

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Find out about the special offer “Comprehensive examination at home”: the convenience of this program is that you can choose from a list of pediatric doctors exactly those specialists that your child needs and an individual set of medical services with a 20% discount!

Useful workouts

For the first two months, the child tastes everything, directly moving his mouth to the object of study, and after the third month of life and up to 1.5-3 years, his hand brings everything to his mouth. At this stage, both gross and fine motor skills are actively developing. To bring an object to your mouth, you need to approach it (crawl, approach, pull yourself up) and grab it tightly, then bring it to your mouth. This “bad” habit also affects the development of speech. When a baby puts everything into his mouth, he trains the muscles of the tongue, lips, lower jaw, and soft palate, which are involved in articulatory activity.

Getting rid of a bad habit for an older child

If sucking and chewing of the tongue occurs only at certain moments, for example, when concentrating, then there is no reason for parents to worry. Otherwise, you need to get rid of the formed habit. To do this, at first, you should observe the child and determine in what cases he chews or sucks his tongue. Try not to give him comments on this matter, and especially not to scold him or engage in physical assault. It will only get worse. As soon as you determine in what cases such a phenomenon occurs, begin to eliminate it - at the moment when the child begins to do this, distract him with something interesting and so on until the habit disappears. It will not be superfluous to show maximum care so that the child does not feel lonely and unnecessary. Gradually everything is returning to normal. It is important to remember that aggression and violence will not help overcome the problem. Only patience and systematic application of advice will bear fruit.

Oral stage

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, identified 5 stages of psychosexual personality development more than a century ago, however, some of his postulates are still relevant today. The first stage is the oral stage. These features should also be taken into account when selecting educational tactics to control and supervise the “bad habit.”

0 months – 1.5 years

Actually, the oral stage according to Freud covers the age from birth to one and a half years. According to modern concepts, this includes the period of infancy (from 0 to one year) and early childhood of the child (from 1 to 3 years). Both stages are a time of active sensory development. Now all senses are being trained: vision, hearing, smell, taste, touch.

At the same time, the baby urgently needs close and sincere emotional contact with a significant adult. Most often with mom, and if she is absent for some reason, then with a person standing in for her - dad, grandmother or guardian. During this period, it is very important to kiss, hug, and stroke the child. If mother and baby do not develop a close bond, he may begin to lag behind in development.

At this stage, the basic attitudes are laid: dependence/independence, trust/distrust in relationships with people, a sense of support/confidence in the impossibility of getting help from other people. That is, the foundation of trust in the world and in people is being laid. At this stage, the child sucks his mother's breast, feels her tenderness and love towards him.

THE DIMLIER DOES NOT PLAY ANY IMPORTANT ROLE AT THE ORAL STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT. IT DOES NOT HELP OR HINDER THE CHILD: HE CAN ALWAYS GET RID OF IT AND TAKE SOMETHING ELSE INTO HIS MOUTH OR PRACTICE SPEECH. THE DACTOR SIMPLY CALMES A RESTLESS BABY AND HELPES CHILDREN WITH EXCESSIVE SUCKING REFLEX.

If contact with the mother is weak, the baby may begin to suck his finger instead of the breast. There is only one goal: to reduce the stress that arises due to the lack of maternal care. To avoid such problems, many psychologists recommend long-term breastfeeding on demand.

And at this stage it is important to avoid extremes. Hypo- or overprotection on the part of the mother negatively affects the psycho-emotional development of the child. In the future, he may become, respectively, overly dependent or, conversely, overly independent (with no need for close, trusting relationships), trusting or distrustful.

Come on, bite!

From 6 months, the second phase of the oral stage begins - oral-sadistic. During this period, the baby's first teeth erupt. Now chewing and biting becomes a response to frustration - a feeling of disappointment, sadness, sadness, which is accompanied by anxiety. Most often, the baby is very upset by the mother’s long absence or denial of pleasure. At this age, the child, not seeing his mother, suffers as if he had lost her forever. Your task is to help the child understand that mother does not disappear, she always returns. A simple game of peek-a-boo is ideal for this. You cover your face with your hands, then remove them and say, “Peek-a-boo.” Then leave the room, continuing to talk with the child, so that he can understand that even if his mother is not visible, she is still there and will soon return to him.

AT THIS AGE CHILDREN OFTEN BITE MOM'S BREASTS. IF THIS HAPPENED, BE ENDORSE. REMEMBER THAT A CHILD IS INVOLVINGLY CAUSING PAIN TO YOU, BUT YOUR REACTION WILL HAVE FAR-REACHING CONSEQUENCES.

If you respond aggressively, then in the future the baby will bite if dissatisfied. It is more correct to remove the child for a few seconds, make a sad face and say: “It hurts me,” but only without a note of accusation in the voice. Then you need to wait a few seconds, take the child in your arms and talk to him tenderly. This will form the correct behavioral pattern of kindness and forgiveness.

It is very important that during this period the separation from your mother proceeds smoothly. If you need to go to work, try to make sure that your baby gets used to being away from you for a long time gradually. And keep in mind: if the failure occurs in the second oral stage, the person grows up to be a great debater, full of sarcasm, with a pessimistic outlook on life and a cynical attitude towards the world, with the need to dominate and exploit other people. Residual oral behavior is expressed in smoking, unbridled appetite, and the habit of biting pens or nails. A person with an oral character type is infantile and is not able to save his savings.

How to wean a baby from tongue sucking

If parents have such a problem and they urgently need to wean their baby from sucking his tongue, then in this case you can try offering the baby a pacifier or a special teether.

What is strictly forbidden to do is scold small children or hit their hands. Otherwise, you can only aggravate the current situation.

Aggressive influence from adults will cause the baby to worry even more, and his need to suck or chew something will only increase.

Also, if such a problem is observed, parents should think about whether they spend enough time with the baby, whether he has enough parental affection and attention. It will be useful to read books more often, talk to him, touch him and kiss him.

It's possible, but be careful

It is simply impossible to underestimate the importance of the oral stage. Strict prohibitions will hinder the baby’s development. It is important not to prohibit and scold, but to be there and help the child get acquainted with the world around him in the safest way.

• First of all, it is necessary to ensure maximum safety for the baby. Be sure to remove all piercing and cutting objects, household chemicals and easily breakable objects from its access area. If you have older children, make sure that your child does not pick up small parts from construction sets or toys while visiting his brother or sister.
• If a child puts a dirty, dangerous object in his mouth, he must be stopped. If possible, we stop calmly. We speak briefly and clearly: “This is not edible,” “We don’t eat this,” “This is dangerous.”
• It would be good if you could explain how these inedible items are usually handled. Of course, after you take them out of the baby's mouth.
• Use simple and clear but common words. Simplified versions like “It’s kaka” or “Ugh!” impoverish speech.
• When your baby starts teething, offer an alternative (teether, pacifier, dryer...)
• Provide your child with sensory information in a safe way. Offer sensory development games.

Even if a child breaks a rule, it is very important not to subject him to psychological and physical aggression. The child acted incorrectly, we do not approve of the action, but we love and forgive the child.

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Causes and consequences

One of the reasons for this position of the tongue is enlarged velopharyngeal tonsils, the appearance of adenoids and other conditions accompanied by the growth of adenoid tissue. Due to the appearance of formed tissue in the nasopharynx, the child experiences disruption of normal breathing. Not only the tip of the tongue, spread between the incisors of the upper and lower rows, moves forward, but also its root, which greatly facilitates breathing, helping the air stream pass through the nasal part.

Children get used to holding their tongue between the teeth due to a short or abnormally growing frenulum, which limits the free movement of the tongue. The tip of the tongue often hypertrophies, a speech defect (lisp) appears, and the swallowing process changes. These disorders entail functional changes in the jaw system, a pathological open bite appears (an anomaly in which the front upper and lower teeth (sometimes lateral) do not close, forming a semicircular gap between the dentition). An open bite can occur from either tongue protruding or thumb sucking. However, these types of disorders are different from each other. Tongue sucking leads to dentoalveolar shortening of the dentition.